Dear Sidney Crosby,
I need you to do me a favour. I need you to beat the Calgary Flames in some big important type hockey game. Based on the previous sentence, I'm sure you realize I know very little about hockey. I'm not even sure if you play in the same league (divison??) as the Flames. But this need transcends hockey, in fact, it transcends sports.
Allow me to back track. I've recently moved from Nova Scotia to Alberta where I teach high school. It's bad enough that this province gets snow in August, I can't find a Tim's drive-thru, and everyone makes fun of my accent. No, what put me over the edge was when I did a lesson on important Canadians I used you as the example, and none of my sweet little students even knew who you were.
Angst ridden teenager #1: "Sidney Who? Crosby? Was he that dead singer?"
Me: "No, that's Bing. Sidney is the best hockey player alive."
Angst ridden teenager #1: "He sucks. The Flames rule." (banging on desks)
Me: "He's rated one of the top players in the NHL. He lived with Mario Lemieux. He's from my city. How can you say he sucks?!"
Angst ridden teenager #2: "He's weak. Your province sucks. Say carrrrr again."
And that, Sidney, is the problem with today's kids. They're disrespectful and they make fun of Nova Scotia. Last week one of them told me that my dad wasn't a real Canadian because he's an immigrant. I know I'm in big oil country and things are different from back home but I'm slowly losing my mind. That's why I need a win. I need something that I can wave in front of the class and say "A Nova Scotian did this. He's awesome. We rule all." And yes, I realize that isn't the most mature approach I could take but it would feel awfully sweet. It would be like my own Stanley Cup. And I don't even need you to win that, just get far enough to burn those Flames to the ground.
If you do, a Keith's is on me.
2 comments:
Not only are they not in the same division, they're not even in the same conference. But you're in luck - the Flames visit the Penguins on March 25th, 2009. Unfortunately, it's a Wednesday night, but it will be on TSN.
When the Penguins played the Habs once last year, there was a table of guys with CROSBY SUCKS shirts beside myself and a group of transplanted Nova Scotians. We started a pretty awesome brawl. Good luck, buddy. Good luck.
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