Rants and reels

I'd like to know if anyone else's mom does this. Maybe it's a condition that mothers develop when they turn fifty. If it was, then I'd probably feel more hospitable towards mine and much less likely to murder her before noon.

Ok so here's the thing, I was out last night drinking with a bunch of friends who'd just got home from a year away. Beer was flowing, bands were playing. It was an all round good time. The problem is that when I awoke this morning it was to find my mother standing over me half way into a conversation about my aunt who lives in...I don't even know, I want to say Kansas?...anyway mom was ranting about something.

Apparently my aunt has this dog and she's giving it up cause my uncle doesn't like dogs. Oh and my aunt has also found some kind of baby hawk and it's living in their backyard and it eats crickets. They are giving away the dog, but the endangered and illegal bird is fine to live in their house.

So my mother is ranting above me and I finally croaked out a "what?" in my hungover haze. Mom then wants to know "what's wrong, why are you not up yet, why are you feeling sick, oh you still have a cold, well what medication did you take?, it's because you sleep with your doors closed and you don't open your windows enough, well if you are allergic to pollen then you need better allergy medication, where are your puffers?, take some of mine, don't get all hyped up about sharing medications it's fine it doesn't kill me..." and on and on and on.

The rant of questions literally goes like this with me begging for peace and quiet and to be left alone with my glass of water and tylenol. Why, why! do mothers want to have an entire conversation with their comatose daughters before 11 am?? I need to move out...now.