For the last six months in Alberta, I've been living roughly 3000 feet above sea level. You wouldn't think this would affect daily living but it has encumbered me with a serious handicap. It is kind of like drinking in an airplane all the time. Two glasses of chardonnay and I'm ready for bed. It's really quite embarrassing. I'm a Nova Scotian. We are only allowed to live in the province as long as you can drink a case of Keith's over the run of a night.
But recently I went home to Halifax for Christmas and discovered something amazing. Something wonderful. I don't think it would be an exaggeration to call it a Christmas miracle.
I discovered I had a superpower. However instead of being able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, or run faster than a speeding bullet my superpower was the ability to drink as much alcohol as I wanted without feeling the effects (relatively speaking obviously. If I drank a bathtub of moonshine I don't think I would have been completely invincible. Everyone has their kryptonite).
It was kind of like training with extra weights all year and finally taking them off to run the marathon. Or practicing with a weighted bat and hitting a home run over and over again with the light one. On Christmas Eve I was 4 glasses of wine and a bottle of beer into the festivities when Mom threatened to cut me off before Mass. I calmly explained the logistics of my superpower to her. Alas, like most mere mortals, she was not able to believe in the supernatural. Neither did my waiter at the Fireside.
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