David Suzuki, move on over.

I've figured out how to save the planet. Exciting I know. Well not the whole planet right away but this is definitely a strategy to get us part of the way there. And it doesn't involve spending more money or cutting back on your garbage. If anything it's free and it encourages garbabge.

Remember in the nineties when animal right's activists would protest and throw red paint on people wearing fur coats? Clearly this was a very successful strategy. Who wears fur coats nowadays other than my grandmother? So all we need to do is to figure out a way to properly shame polluters and we've got ourselves a clean planet.

So the question arises, which polluters should we work on shaming first? I was pondering this while driving down Quinpool this afternoon. I noticed that I was behind a Toyota hybrid, the first I've actually seen on the roads. While I was admiring the eco-friendly car in front of me this giant SUV drove past us with a very posh young woman in the front seat. I thought to myself, that's ridiculous anyone my age should be ashamed of driving that gas-guzzler. And that is when genius struck.

So here is the plan. We gather all our garbage, slop water and general grossness. Free materials. We wait secretly on street corners and when an SUV pulls up at a red light we attack. Smelly garbage water smacks the window. Rotten egg shells get stuck on windshield wipers. If we want to risk it, we could add black paint to represent the oil they are stripping from the earth.

And that is how we save the planet.